So, it's the middle of the night, there are seemingly 50 dogs outside my bedroom window barking back and fourth at each other and I have two legs that are aching like crazy and keeping me awake. My sweet son and husband are knocked out cold, I wish I was too, but instead I am left with my thoughts.
My thoughts turned to blogging. I love blogging. I think it's fun. I like reading about people who don't live close anymore (or people who live right down the street - you know how it is). But I'm just not sure I have anything to write about that is worth reading. I mean really, how many pictures of B can I post? So all that to say, I'm not sure if I am actually a blogger. Maybe I'm just a narcissist with a website.
I was told once that i don't update enough. I can't argue with that. But that comment left me to wonder how is it that the "real" bloggers have the time to update every day or so? Do they have dirty dishes ever? Laundry to fold? Kids who get sick? Husbands who need food? Do bloggers sleep? (Notice how the only time I've blogged in the last 3 weeks is on the night I can't sleep... coincidence? ) Do bloggers have their friends over or spend an afternoon outside in the pool?
I think about blogging all the time. I think about it as I slip those bright yellow gloves on to tackle a pile of dishes from the night before. I think about it as I'm hanging diapers on the line or switching clothes from the washer to the drier. I think of cute little witty blogs as I am vacuuming the living room and scraping steel cut oats off the floor under my son's high chair. But then I think, "Should I be blogging while my house sits in filth? Is blogging being a good steward of my time and energy?"
I still don't know the answers to those questions. If you have any thoughts on them I would love to hear them. I need a little help on figuring out this whole "spending my time wisely" thing. There is ALWAYS something else I could be doing (sewing projects from before my son was born, a scrap book that is 2 years behind, dishes, laundry, etc. ...) but I enjoy blogging. What is to be said for that? The fact that I enjoy it should give it some sort of merit, right? I don't know. Sometimes sin can be enjoyable, right? Sin seems fun for a season but then it always ends up getting you in the end. (Don't get me wrong, I'm in no way saying blogging is sinful... I'm just sharing my thoughts and I always am harder on myself than I am on anyone else, always.)
My legs still hurt, but the dogs are quiet now and my mind has released all the blog thinking it was doing. I think I'll try to sleep.
And maybe I'll post a blog tomorrow. Maybe.