So I was reading a friends blog this morning and she was talking about miracles - and one in particular, the miracle of children. And I suddenly felt so selfish...
You see, this friend of mine she has one son and she has been trying for a second child for some time now, but still nothing. And she wrote - "I didn't realize that I already had gotten one miracle. And that that may be it for my reproductive system in this life." it hit me... this could be it for me too! I mean not in a dooms day kind of way and I'm not trying to be pessimistic but it actually was just kind of a wake up call from the Lord to my heart. It was as if he was saying, "Sarah! Wake up! You are a walking, breathing miracle right now! You are giving life - 24 hours a day - you and me, girl, we're making a miracle!" GOD IS WORKING A MIRACLE IN ME, in my actual body and I spend my days thinking about when I will be able to fit back in my old clothes and how I hate the fact that I'm getting a double chin - yikes! Not okay!
So, I'm changing my perspective, I have to. What baby, what creation from heaven, deserves to come into the world, into a house and family who already sees them as the cause of weight gain and the cause of this and that.... NO! This little man or woman is a miracle and it is welcome to move and stretch and hic-up it's way along because the Lord has seen fit to entrust this little miracle to Adam and I and we can do nothing but praise him for the work that he is doing!
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you." - Psalm 139: 13-18